Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Randomize