Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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