I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
