Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared

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(202): I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared http://tfl.nu/a5x9

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(770): View more from Georgia

Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.

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(770): Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird. http://tfl.nu/gky6

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.

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(267): Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids. http://tfl.nu/vgjd

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(270): View more from Kentucky

Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.

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(270): Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high. http://tfl.nu/tn40

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(216): View more from Ohio

I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.

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(216): I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous. http://tfl.nu/a664

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(505): View more from New Mexico

His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.

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(505): His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left. http://tfl.nu/dyjo

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(509): View more from Washington

Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.

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(509): Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully. http://tfl.nu/j9yb

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(204): View more from Manitoba

Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?

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(204): Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard? http://tfl.nu/3z7i

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(510): View more from California

I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.

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(510): I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English. http://tfl.nu/sei7

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(602): View more from Arizona

After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.

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(602): After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her. http://tfl.nu/mkbl

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(847): View more from Illinois

I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.

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(847): I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk. http://tfl.nu/f1iz

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.

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(717): Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward. http://tfl.nu/kv4q

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(248): View more from Michigan

okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.

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(248): okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for. http://tfl.nu/81ty

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.

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(412): You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room. http://tfl.nu/nfbu

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(402): View more from Nebraska

You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home

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(402): You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home http://tfl.nu/2kjb

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