Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.

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  (734): I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians. http://tfl.nu/rppl
  Replies (118) Good night (38444) Bad night (1485)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.

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  (281): Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit. http://tfl.nu/j2fi
  Replies (27) Good night (1460) Bad night (4144)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.

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  (719): If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks. http://tfl.nu/p2ad
  Replies (25) Good night (4694) Bad night (977)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.

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  (617): it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina. http://tfl.nu/7xv1
  Replies (14) Good night (1260) Bad night (4345)
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  (845): View more from New York

  alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.

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  (845): alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization. http://tfl.nu/1m6d
  Replies (16) Good night (8633) Bad night (1300)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.

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  (502): She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused. http://tfl.nu/76xl
  Replies (17) Good night (2035) Bad night (2657)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.

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  (303): I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring. http://tfl.nu/akq0
  Replies (5) Good night (2539) Bad night (920)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta

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  (814): She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta http://tfl.nu/cr5h
  Replies (8) Good night (3761) Bad night (1290)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.

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  (352): I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas. http://tfl.nu/mxts
  Replies (16) Good night (2594) Bad night (976)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.

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  (515): They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form. http://tfl.nu/tu4k
  Replies (2) Good night (1207) Bad night (470)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.

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  (608): Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli. http://tfl.nu/5kl3
  Replies (1) Good night (1648) Bad night (451)
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  (914): View more from New York

  But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.

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  (914): But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level. http://tfl.nu/ncka
  Replies (2) Good night (505) Bad night (762)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.

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  (425): He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo. http://tfl.nu/ajk9
  Replies (6) Good night (447) Bad night (396)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.

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  (740): Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me. http://tfl.nu/2duy
  Replies (0) Good night (424) Bad night (265)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.

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  (316): He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me. http://tfl.nu/8ei9
  Replies (0) Good night (376) Bad night (270)

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