You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to