Do vagina's smell?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
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And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
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You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.