Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(413): View more from Massachusetts

I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(413): I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh. http://tfl.nu/mtmx

Replies (12) Good night (812) Bad night (2051)
Favorite
(404): View more from Georgia

My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(404): My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America." http://tfl.nu/2jbp

Replies (24) Good night (6622) Bad night (806)
Favorite
(914): View more from New York

i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(914): i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die http://tfl.nu/gzsu

Replies (11) Good night (4114) Bad night (812)
Favorite
(203): View more from Connecticut

just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(203): just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex http://tfl.nu/zx0t

Replies (12) Good night (4558) Bad night (892)
Favorite
(443): View more from Maryland

she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(443): she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help. http://tfl.nu/37hn

Replies (3) Good night (2217) Bad night (1013)
Favorite
(774): View more from Massachusetts

I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(774): I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy http://tfl.nu/fre1

Replies (7) Good night (2396) Bad night (1015)
Favorite
(206): View more from Washington

I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(206): I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table http://tfl.nu/jkfk

Replies (5) Good night (2385) Bad night (1069)
Favorite
(586): View more from Michigan

Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(586): Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed? http://tfl.nu/l7cc

Replies (19) Good night (1806) Bad night (905)
Favorite
(770): View more from Georgia

I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(770): I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :( http://tfl.nu/8xfl

Replies (4) Good night (500) Bad night (1064)
Favorite
(865): View more from Tennessee

She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(865): She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise. http://tfl.nu/2xsu

Replies (10) Good night (662) Bad night (1336)
Favorite
(757): View more from Virginia

Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(757): Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party. http://tfl.nu/ny5q

Replies (5) Good night (1582) Bad night (419)
Favorite
(678): View more from Georgia

Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(678): Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on. http://tfl.nu/4vca

Replies (1) Good night (1088) Bad night (240)
Favorite
(978): View more from Massachusetts

woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(978): woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator http://tfl.nu/ric1

Replies (9) Good night (767) Bad night (430)
Favorite
(810): View more from Michigan

I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(810): I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point. http://tfl.nu/wk8l

Replies (1) Good night (1013) Bad night (180)
Favorite
(204): View more from Manitoba

we need to invent and abuse teleportation

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(204): we need to invent and abuse teleportation http://tfl.nu/6ayp

Replies (2) Good night (512) Bad night (168)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: