His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck