I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
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My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
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You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't