Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I will be naked everywhere
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
