Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
