i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His hands were made for my vagina.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize