this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
The power of my boobs compel you
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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