Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize