I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
