Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
