Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
