the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
