oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
