yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
