i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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