I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Come share oat with me in your robe
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
