fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
