She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
