shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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