I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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