The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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