I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize