So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
