then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
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I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
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Go christen that room with your naked body.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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