somebody snuck up and got me drunk
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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