you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
