This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
