I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Are my feet made of real feet?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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