DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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