I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
You ruined the universe
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
