i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize