he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
