Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
