Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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