i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
