she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
he had hair everywhere except his balls
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
