hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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