his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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