We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
