I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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