party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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