He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
