I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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