I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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