i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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