Will you blow on my dice?
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
