Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize