very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
