Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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