im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
