this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
