Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize