bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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