its not stalking. its research.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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