So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
