Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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