Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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