just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Every concussion has its silver lining
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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