no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
