Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
